YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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