i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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