The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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