Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
