Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
