Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
