Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
