Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
