I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
