How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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