you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He shit in the fireplace
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
