singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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