I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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