We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
