Soap is not a condiment
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
