i don't like sucking hair
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
