You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
