I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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