I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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