those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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