I'm gonna have a badass scar
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
