His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's never too late to be topless.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
