He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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