oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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