Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
