did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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