Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
