I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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