This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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