I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
