very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
