no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Life is so much better after having sex.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
