I want to stick my p in your. b.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
