This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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