At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
