I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
