woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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