its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
