I think I am morally bankrupt
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
