pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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