I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
