remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
