I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
