I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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