omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
