Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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