I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
