A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
