Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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