everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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